I am a stress baker. The smell of cupcakes helps to calm me down and to organize my thoughts. I baked so much my last two years of college that I actually became really, really good at it. But now that I’m out of college, live at my parents, work at Starbucks, and can’t find a job in my field, there’s been more baking than ever before. I have plenty of reasons to stock the fridge with butter.
When I was in college, my roommates knew when I was in the kitchen that I was looking to be alone. But now that I’m back living at home, solitude is hard to come by. Daisy makes it especially difficut. Daisy is my 5-year old dog.
I often find myself saying Daisy is the worst dog on planet Earth. She seriously has no consideration for anybody else’s personal space- yes, I know I’m talking about a dog. I can’t be in the kitchen without her constantly walking in between my legs just in case I maybe accidentally drop a grain of sugar onto the floor. All she ever accomplishes by doing this is tripping me, thus making me really mad. And she’s a kitchen thief. She’s always trying to steal paper towels off the island counter, not to mention butter wrappers and egg shells from the trash. She will do almost anything for food and drool on and around me until I give it to her.
She’s also really unintelligent. Daisy is a little sensative about some words and tends to bark uncontrollably at the mentioning of:
Numbers. Daisy is anti-education and hates when people count up or down and especially hates the number five.
Daisy also doesn’t like pickles, warhead candy, meeting new people, the ocean- or any body of water larger than her drinking bowl, rabbits, birds, deer, ducks, other dogs- all animals really, tall men, being touched before 8 a.m. and after 8 p.m., baths, stairs, and vacuum cleaners… to name a few.
My dad lives in an alternate reality, which makes him think Daisy is not only his daughter, but also his most beautiful and intelligent daughter. News flash Dad: Just because she graduated 4th from PetSmart Training doesn’t mean she’s anywhere in the realm of smart. Did I mention that there were only four dogs in the class?
Daisy is very tempermental as you can see by her really welcoming facial expression from a photo taken on Christmas Eve.
She lives by the motto: whatever is yours is mine and whatever is mine you better back the hell away from. She has a hoard of bones that she’s received as Christmas gifts and if she catches you even thinking of walking near it she will literally lose her mind and go Mike Tyson on you. Let’s just say she’s earned her nickname, Cujo.
Daisy is a horrible, horrible dog. But she’s also the only one who will always think my cooking is great. She’s the only one who is always happy to see me when I come home from work. She will always find some way to amuse me when I’m bored. I guess she’s not all that bad.
Last week, I decided I was going to make her a treat for being a good girl. I know, I know, but as annoying as she is in the kitchen, she always ends up making it up some how. I made some whole wheat peanut butter dog treats. I think she would have rather had the Amy Winehouse Brownies I was also making at the time. Daisy has a sophisticated pallet, what can I say?
If it isn’t obvious, this post was inspired by Marley & Me by John Grogan. Grogan’s life went through many stages, just as everyone’s does. As a columnist, he captured these changes by writing about the one constant through all these stages, his dog Marley. It is the human-dog relationship that we all can relate to.
People always hold grudges against other people. Think hard about the last person you forgave for something. You never really did forgive them, did you? Now think of the last time your dog peed all over the carpet when you came home from work, or vomited everywhere as you were running late for work. How about the time that your dog ate your new health insurance card? Or better, your new registration card for your car. Not only do we forgive out dogs faster than we do each other, we also mean it.
Do I get mad when Daisy jumps on the counter and eats the cupcakes before I’ve gotten a chance to get them out of the cupcake pan, yes. But will I give her a piece of one about a half hour later, absolutely.
(Adapted from the recipe, “Peanut Butter Dog Treats,” by Sweet Pea’s Kitchen)
3/4 Cup nonfat milk
1 1/4 Cup smooth peanut butter
2 1/2 Cups whole wheat flour
1 Tablespoon baking powder
1/8 Teaspoon cinnamon
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees fahrenheit.
- Whisk together the milk and egg. Then add in the peanut butter and mix until all incorporated. Then add the flour, baking powder, cinnamon, and nutmeg and mix until thick dough is formed.
- Roll the dough out about 1 inch thick. Then, using any cookie cutter you want, cut the biscuits out and place onto a parchment paper-lines baking sheet. Bake for 30 minutes or until golden brown.
“A dog has no use for fancy cars or big homes or designer clothes. Status symbols mean nothing to him. A water-logged stick will do just fine. A dog judges others not by their color or creed or class but by who they are inside. A dog doesn’t care if you are rich or poor, educated or illiterate, clever or dull. Give him your heart and he will give you his.” ~ Marley & Me
I ❤ Daisy
Thanks Barker, er Baker!!
Hi, this is Daisy Mae and I would like to take a few minutes to respond to the comments made by my “sister” Rachel.
The comments about me being against education are just unfounded. Not only was I 4th in my master’s program at U of P, I was voted Miss Congeniality. I realize that you were upset when I was accepted at U of P and you weren’t. Don’t feel bad, FDU is a good place to land for a person with your “challenges”. By the way when you were counting & I started to bark you misunderstood the point I was making. I thought we were discussing pre-calculus and why you almost failed the class in senior year. (Note I took AP pre-calc in my sophomore year and got an A).
Regarding those cookies you made me. Sure most all of your baking is awesome, HOWEVER I have had better cookies than those that you made me and this is coming from someone who has licked her own but.
My final comment comes from one of my favorite poets, John Keats, “A thing of beauty is a joy forever”. That is how I live my life. I am a thing of beauty and I love to spread joy to everyone I meet. Think about it Rach.
I wonder if the cousins agree.
My cousins love me and support me without hesitation. Just yesterday I had a conference call with my cousins (Melissa, Benny, Patrick, Michaela, Matthew, Robert, Rosie, Georgie and Huck) along with Aunt Nickie, to discuss Rachel’s harsh treatment of me on her blog. It was unanimous that Rachel was out of line and did not portray me in the correct light.
Hugs & Kisses
Daisy kisses with her canine teeth first
I love daisy even though she tries to eat me everytime I see her as if I’m pork fried rice. It’s cool. Make some kitty treats next!! Lol
Great to see Daisy is a fan of your blog, but she does seem a bit aggressive in her response.
I am deeply sadden that Uncle Craig would stab me in the back like Brutus. To paraphrase from my favorite Shakespearian play, Julius Caesar, “Et tu, Uncle Craig?”
I know this dog and I am in the education field. Daisy should be referred for special education for social behavior.
Auntie Nancy I love you dearly but are you the person who should be commenting on social behavior. Really.
Daisy Mae, I truly think you need a reality check. Maybe you need family counseling. See if you can get your dad to go with you.
The comments are hurtful & my daddy is the most sane person I know. I have just one word for you. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
Daisy mae is a sweet dog but somewhat of a deviant. Huckabee still hasn’t recovered from Christmas!
I thought you loved me. I am sorry that Huck (what does Huck rhyme with) has not recovered. Maybe Huck can be part of the counseling I need. Then maybe he’ll learn how to man up.
Dear Daisy Mae,
Just because I am sensitive (and have been surgically altered!) doesn’t mean I am not a man.
Your loving cousin,
Well I just spent some time with Daisy’s cousin Georgie. OMG both dogs are crazy. Daisy wants to eat you and Georgie wants to hook up. I think both dogs need some parameters. Oh yeh georgie continues to display poor bladder control.
Dear Auntie Nancy
I just got off my cell with Georgie and he/she is very upset. Please do not make negative comments about my sweet sensitive cousin Georgie.
X&O and Grrrrrrrrr’s